August 20, 2011

I'm not okay

忘了自己听过多少遍,只懂哭了整盒纸巾;
我忘了自己还没填饱肚子、忘了多久没有喝过水
此刻的心情…我该怎样形容这样的心情…
“在體內是什麼 在把我摧毀 在傷痕累累”.




你的笑容是恩惠 世界難得那麼美
於是追 要你陪 可惜本能終會將美麗汗水化成淚水

黑夜之所以會黑 叫醒人心里的鬼
在游說 在縈回 在體內是什麼 在把我摧毀在傷痕累累

我可以無所謂 寂寞卻一直掉眼淚
人類除了擅長頹廢 做什麼都不對 I’m Not Okay

我假裝無所謂 才看不到心被擰碎
人在愛情裹越殘廢 就會越多安慰 無論多虛偽

空虛並非是詞匯 能夠形容的魔鬼
它支配著行為 能擺脫寂寞我什麼都肯給 就像個傀儡

我可以無所謂 寂寞卻一直掉眼淚
人類除了擅長頹廢 做什麼都不對 I’m Not Okay

我假裝無所謂 才看不到心被擰碎
人在愛情裹越殘廢 就會越多安慰 
我也無所謂 (我假裝無所謂) 才看不到心被擰碎
人在愛情裹越殘廢 就會越多安慰 無論有多虛偽

没什么

我总读不懂、学不会。

爱情有点像天秤,
依赖着彼此的重量,牵扯着彼此的高与低;
偶尔失衡,偶尔牵强称作“平衡”。

又犹如拔河,互相依赖着,亦在互相较劲;
这到底是怎么一回事,是一种怎样的情感与关系?


“我爱你,但我们不适合“
是一种怎样的无奈?

“我爱你,但我累了”
是一种怎样的无力?

“我爱你,但我怕了”
是一种怎样的不安?

“我爱你,但我不爱了”
是一种怎样的决心?

“我爱你,但我不在乎了”
是一种怎样的绝望?





“我爱你,但前头看似雾林的时候
该如何走下去”




当我的视线只有你,
当你偶尔躲到哪个黑暗处...


或许离开亦是一种成全

或许我应该
成全你的自由
再成全我的自我

或许不应该

或许我只是有点累,没什么。
我想我只是有点累,没什么。

July 22, 2011

545

we almost had it all
we could have had it all

When

...
Guilt consumed faith
I gave myself up
Don't pick me up
don't go against the destined

I
...
once was lost
but now am found
embraced
tightly
in the arms of guilt
on the streets of despair

unknown



This is beyond "broken". I've witnessed "death".

April 5, 2011

Subverted


What seems true, might not be; walking in the dark seems a lot better, for I rather lived in despair than falsehood.

(Image: DarkAlley by HideYoshi)


February 28, 2011

钟情 。拉丁

走在STARHILL离LA BOMBA(一间拉丁餐馆)不远处,我已经隐约听到风情万种的拉丁音乐在响起。为什么我给了拉丁音乐这样的一个特性说“风情万种”?其实如果用心聆听,不难感受到它蕴藏着几种特质:它时而热情,时而娇羞、偶尔奔放,偶尔含蓄;完全反映了女性独特、复杂、和丰富的特性。

不知道为什么每每来到LA BOMBA,我就会倍感温馨,它亲切地像“家”。笑容可掬的侍应生将我带到座位上,我似乎还没从醉人的气氛里醒来,一直到有个似曾相识的影子缓缓地向着我走过来,他是我的老朋友-MARTIN,也是LA BOMBA 的老板。 MARTIN是我在一个拉丁舞的公开活动里认识的热血委内瑞拉人。因为我本身非常热爱SALSA,所谓志同道合,我和MARTIN成了无话不谈的好友,也因着他,我认识了他的妻子SIMRIN。SIMRIN也是一位对拉丁舞充满热诚的女生!我和眼前的这对夫妇畅谈东西,他们更一时兴起,即兴地跳起一小段SALSA!他们全情地投入,四周的人也仿佛感受到他们之间的非凡默契和相互理解的共鸣,因而赞叹他们真是天造地和的一对。对于骨子里同样有着活跃SALSA细胞的我,当然也没有错过这一个翩翩起舞的良机咯!

我喜欢拉丁舞蹈所表达的意境和风情,更爱上SALSA当中的激情和活力;也或许是这样的情意结,使得我一直钟情于拉丁。

话说,拉丁舞是一种来自拉美欧地区的舞蹈,由本土欧洲和黑人舞蹈融合而形成的一种艺术形式。拉丁舞的舞风奔放,特别具有节奏感、配合有力度的动作,再加上欢快的音乐伴奏,是极富艺术感染力的舞蹈!

我欣赏拉丁舞(尤其SALSA)男女之间在爱情里的追逐,种种的情感和情绪,表现在SALSA里特别摄魄夺目!因为SALSA的舞蹈风格人性化,它情感化的表现也非常直接而富有戏剧性。SALSA里的男女使出浑身解数,为要在爱情的游戏(舞蹈的表现)里占优势;女方所展现的女性优美线条的摆动柔中带刚、刚中有柔,而男性舞姿骠悍刚强、气宇轩昂;女孩则幻想自己时而是一头野性十足的斗牛,时而是斗牛士手中的红披风,时而是美丽!又是高贵而性感。其实舞蹈不单单只是舞者对音乐的诠释,它更是一个意境的体会、创造、和表达‘所以在这场男性主导的舞蹈里,男的必需表现出挡不住的魅力和想要征服的欲望,而不易被征服的西班牙女郎同时也需要表现出她应有的高傲,但同时对于即将开始的爱情游戏和热情不失期盼!这时候,舞伴之间的情感融于一体就是舞蹈成败的其一关键!

告别了MARTIN夫妇后,走在凉风习习的街道上,我问自己为什么会爱上舞蹈,爱上拉丁;我想,我喜欢它的直接。舞蹈是一个无止境的心灵探索,每一次的起舞象征着一场场的挑战,对于诚实面对自我内在的欲望,再无惧地透过肢体、眼神、将自己活生生地展露在人前;这何尝不是自我突破,何尝不需要勇气?

February 12, 2011

Be still
















It seems so far, yet it’s in the heart.

My dreams vanished within finger snap seconds;
I thought that would be the end,
but its fragment sneak into the most discreet gaps of this heart.


Often I feel that it’s calling me, I shut it off again and again;
Just, every turn-away, was so painful.

I was judged;
"friends" thought I was afraid to rebel against the rules and people who don’t conform to my dreams;

but they forgot rebellious would bring destruction,
And that would be the last thing on earth that I’ll bring into my family.

On second thought, it actually takes a lot more courage, to not be a selfish person.

Just what is wisdom?

Some say in persistence and the awaiting moments

You will find wisdom. I wonder…


My dreams remained as dreams, but just for now.

“Still long way to go isn’t it?
Life is a game, full of odds and turning points;
in hope and faith, be still my soul.”



February 9, 2011

Random



Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up

--Neil Gaiman

January 29, 2011

The Pre-valentine's Syndrome


Okay
, I'm gonna start babbling, again. bare with me... someone has provoked me, not in a bad way... well,
He asked me out on Valentine's day, via sms.

hmm, put it this way, it's not a date, where, according to his account, he's just looking for a shopping partner, cuz "coincidentally", he'll be having off day on 14th of Feb! and he made it clear, IT IS NOT A DATE. Okay, I get what you mean and I deeply believe it's true. =.='

BUT...
*sigh* I know, I may be boyish at times... still, the 14FEB is kinda important to me (sad to say, I'm not one of those superwoman that can disregard the whole valentine's hype T.T )












And I'm sorry that I doesn't want to be just a shopping partner to someone on that day,
I hope I could spend the day with someone really special at least?!


well, actually he's really thoughtful, knowing that I'm single, and presume that I will be all lonely curling on my sofa with soda,ice-cream and crackers. . .so he thought maybe good friends should keep each other accompanied, I do appreciate his kind intention...

BUT . . . (again)
If my Valentine's day is destined to be a "lonely" one, I rather let it be, (spending it with family sounds like a nice second option hehe sorry mum); or else it should be a memorable one with someone real special, just Starbucks and starry night would be beautiful enough, IF it's with "him" whom I adore...

Nyways, happy valentine's day in advance to all of you out there!
love and be loved, xoxo! :D

January 19, 2011

Oh I see














Diet tip #1:


Fall
madly in love and then out of love.


Meh
. I'm just sayin.